Hello darkness my old friend.

This post was inspired by the prompt on : Retrospective

ret·ro·spec·tive

ˌretrəˈspektiv/

adjective

adjective: retrospective

1. looking back on or dealing with past events or situations.

I feel obligated as a mother to be a well rounded individual. To have resolved demons from my past- to be happy, healthy, and whole.

But here is a secret… my old demons still keep me up at night.

Rather it seems they keep me company. Most days they are nothing more than a present thought. Not so invasive as just there. But some days when my defenses have been particularly battered they come to play with my insecurities like a game of cat and mouse. On those days, the smallest speed bump feels like overcoming a mountain.

I can’t afford to succumb to the siren call of depression. To draw the blinds and melt into the couch. I have a bright eyed little boy who looks at me with all the curiosity, and bright eyed innocence in the world. For that face I will scale those mountains.

Its because of that superhuman ability to put on a brave face and overcome obstacles that moms (and dads) are superheros. But in the darkness that sometimes creeps in, my son is my light.

And he will know Mommy isn’t perfect, but that imperfections make us human. Our flaws and our trials make us whole. And living and learning is part of being human.